A Tale of Two Cities: Hop On Hop Off London

Morning

First morning after arriving in London, we were groggy and slow to get out of bed. By the time we got started, it was a bit later than originally planned. We were in great spirits, though, fueled by a fine continental breakfast at the Rhodes Hotel, where the proprietor came out at the end and gave each of the kids a vanilla Kit Kat (you can imagine how much excited we created). We decided in advance that we wouldn’t schedule anything specific for our first day, anticipating both potential travel delays and jet lag. We’d either wander around on our own, or get tickets to a hop on hop off tour.

We did the latter, finding discounted online tickets to Golden Tours’ hop on hop off bus tours. They run several routes through the city. We started on the orange line, which brought us to Kings Cross so Potter and Steve could wait in line 45 minutes to push the carriage through the wall at Platform 9 3/4 (little did we know that we could have done the same thing the next day on the studio tour, without waiting at all). That was a pleasant enough stop, even if it did take longer than expected. But then hopping back on the bus outside the station proved not so easy, because there was no bus to be found. The Golden Tours attendant wasn’t much help, saying the bus would be there in a few minutes. Closer to 40 minutes, actually. And then we crawled through traffic. The kids didn’t have the patience to listen to the audio tour, and one had absolutely no interest in even looking at London go by. The family was beginning to melt down. Patience is a must on trips like this, but waiting, kids and jet lag is a potentially lethal combination. We jumped off not too long after to get lunch (at EAT…which we recommend) and visit the British Museum.

Afternoon

We hit our groove in the afternoon, though. You can easily spend a full day or more in the British Museum (free admission, with exception of special exhibits), particularly if you like audio tours and take the time to read about each exhibit. I would have liked to have done that, or even just the hour-long Rick Steves audio tour, but it just wasn’t feasible with the kids, especially Cupcake and Steve. Neither has the patience for audio tours, which honestly, surprised me a bit, particularly Cupcake. We started at the Rosetta Stone, which inspired Steve to develop his own language / hieroglyphics. He wrote it down in his journal, including a key so someone else could decipher it. He then proceeded to write a few stories in this new language, including one on his distaste for a certain blowhard politician (Momma told him it was not polite to speak ill of Drumpf out loud, should he offend anyone…so he wrote it in his private language instead).

What we did after that is how we should have started our day. We took the Golden Tours live guide tour (the Essentials tour, on the blue line). It offers a great combination of driving by the best sites in the city (see the pics), with the witty overview only a Londoner can provide. Being in the open air, sights to see at every turn, with entertaining commentary that makes you smile – it’s the perfect antidote to jet lag.  History is great, but it’s the fun facts you remember. For example:

• As we approached the Tower Bridge, our guide pointed out a building with the windows bricked over to avoid paying the much-hated window tax that was in effect for over a hundred years. Taxing Londoners on the number of windows in their homes led to the term “daylight robbery.”
• Or that the origin of the word “goosebumps” originated with syphilis. Apparently, there was a Londoner (perhaps of noble stock) who ran a prostituion ring whose workers were known as geese. When patrons contracted the venereal disease from these women, it was said the women “got under their skin”, as syphilis rash appears as bumps under the skin. Hence – “goosebumps.” To be fair, I did search online to validate the veracity of this claim on the origin of the term, and could not confirm. But it’s such a fun story, I left it in.
• Heading back into town, we passed under London Bridge, where we got to see the 1M GBP modern art installation that looked like someone dropped paint in pipe-like lines
• Did you know the former bassist from the rock band Queen attended Kings College London? Neither did we!
• As we passed the Houses of Parliament, we learned its illegal to die there. That’s because there’s another law saying anyone who dies in Parliament is entitled to a state funeral. So to prevent commoners from entering the halls of Parliament and committing suicide just to get the state funeral, they outlawed dying in those buildings
• Did you know the minute hand on Big Ben is the length of a double decker bus? Or that Big Ben itself refers to the bell in the tower, not the clock, named after a famous pugilist of the 1850s?
• Or how about the ornate fountain the temperance society had built hundreds of  ears ago to encourage drinking water, instead of beer? “That didn’t work out so well,” said the guide with a smile.
• Any American in London knows he puts his life at risk just crossing the street. That’s why you see those convenient reminders on the ground to LOOK LEFT. But did you know there is one street in London where the cars drive on the right, instead of the left? Take a taxi to a show at the Savoy Theater, and see what happens. Your companions may have a heart attack as they approach the theater entrance from the wrong side of the road.

Disclaimer: wifi is crazy expensive on the ship, so I’ve not yet taken the time to verify the accuracy of all of these factoids. That’s on the to do list for later on!

So, yeah, if you have jet lag, zone out on a hop on hop off bus tour with a live guide. Sit up top and let the fresh cool air reinvigorate you! Impress your friends with the trivia you pick up. Snap a few photos. It worked for us, saving us from a day of escalating tension and cranky kids. In fact, it teed us up quite nicely for a trip to the pub for dinner and Steve’s birthday celebration. You can see more about that when we post our Recommendations page.

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Grand Poobah

Master organizer of this grand adventure, and father to this raucous bunch of kids. Armed with camera and a tablet, I aim to capture the memorable moments that will allow this trip to live on forever.

One thought on “A Tale of Two Cities: Hop On Hop Off London”

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  Rosemary June 30, 2016 at 1:41 am

  thanks for all the I info!
  you never mentioned how the weather was…

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