Perspectives from Umbria
It’s hard to believe we’re now firmly into the second half of our adventure. I feel like we’ve just begun; and at the same time, I feel like we’ve been been traveling so long that the Harry Potter tour in London and the Iceland/Norway cruise are distant memories. It’s like time is messing with my mind. I think it’s because everything we see and do is so new, relative to the familiarities of normal day-to-day existence. The sheer volume of new inputs to process on a daily basis overwhelms you, making the inputs from just a week ago seem that much more distant in the past.
I expected this to happen. In fact, that’s one of the reasons we’re writing this blog – to capture the memories and experiences we might otherwise forget. On top of the writing we’re doing here, each of the kids is keeping a journal, and have been really diligent about keeping it current. Just this morning, Steve wanted me help him spell “aqueduct,” as he was writing about our trip to Chiusi and exploring the underground tunnels the Etruscans carved out by hand thousands of years ago. Those journals will be so rich by the end of this adventure, I think we may need to lock them away in a safety deposit box for safekeeping.
I find comfort and refuge in this traveling existence, especially now that we’re taking some time to slow down. Yes, we’re reading up on the Republican Convention and the terror attacks in Nice and Munich, and the shootings in Baton Rouge; but we’re still disconnected. We aren’t watching TV, and if the people we run into are talking about these events, they’re doing it in a tongue we don’t understand. So it doesn’t seem as real. It’s freeing being liberated from all the distractions that invade our space at home. It’s nice to “just be,” to have time to be present, to think. I’ve taken some time to reflect on the first half of our trip, and what I’ve learned and observed with my family:
The kids travel really well.
We’ve traveled through nine different countries, by car, train, bus, plane and even boat. We’ve had entire days completely devoted to travel, like the all-day drive that took us through the Dolomites to the autostrada south before cutting west through the hills to reach the Cinque Terre. Or waking early in the morning in Copenhagen to walk to the train station, not being able to figure out which train to get, failing to find a taxi that could take five, then doubling back and getting on what we hoped was the right train to the airport, finding our way to the right ticket counter at the airport, completely botching the rules through the security line (4 of our 5 backpacks were thoroughly scanned and searched multiple times because we did not remove all electronics and liquids), and then waiting nervously for Mary to find breakfast for us all just minutes before the flight started boarding. Normal travel anxieties easily amplified when kids can’t “roll with it.” Fortunately, ours have done really well. Our only real moment of panic (so far) was when we almost sent Potter to Arezzo by herself. When departing the train from Florence at Bucine, only four of five managed to get off the train before the doors closed. Both Cupcake and Steve burst into tears while Mary and I banged on the train doors, Potter looking back at us through the window, helpless. The train did not resume its journey, the doors did open, and we did get our little girl back; thanks in large part to all the Italians yelling up and down the track and on the train to help us. That experience dominated the next 48 hours as we talked quite a bit on what to do if any one of us was deserted like that, and it also served as a reminder to Mary and I that we have to bookend the family every time we’re going anywhere. One of us leads the family off the train, the other picks up the rear. We won’t make that mistake again!
We have limited appetite for museums and tours.
We are traveling through parts of Europe rich in history, art and culture; but let’s be honest, it’s hard to keep track of the Medicis and the Hapsburgs, or the rivalries between Siena and Florence, and recognize the differences between Reinnassance, Gothic, and Romanesque architecture, or appreciate the artistic schools represented in cathedrals that have taken hundreds of years to build. And let’s not even get started on all the religious art. Yes, in the moment, it’s all wildly impressive; but to fully appreciate it, we should have studied up for a year before coming here. We’re just not that family. We can only process so much information before it all blends together. The key takeaway, then: museums and tours can only be consumed in limited quantifies before exhaustion sets in. The first 90 minutes at the Jewish Museum tour in Prague was fascinating, but our interest waned in the final hour. Exploring the Treasury rooms at the Residenz in Munich was a hit with all of us, but we more or less sprinted through the 90+ rooms on display to explain what is was like to live in the palace centuries ago. Yes, it’s a bit sad we’re not more engaged in all that Europe has to offer; but it’s good to know who you are and plan accordingly. From here on out, we’re looking for shorter museum visits and tours specifically designed for kids (like the fantastically interactive and educational tour of the Palazzo Vecchio in Florence).
The best direction is up.
Time and again, climbing a tower, or reaching the summit of some hills, seems to have bolstered our spirits and been the perfect “pick me up” to waiting in long lines or struggling through a boring time in a museum. The 306 steps to climb Old Peter in Munich, the Campinale in Florence (the line was much, much shorter than the line to climb the Duomo, and it’s just as high, with comparably commanding views of the city), the Facciatone in Siena, the funicular to Mt. Floyen in Bergen, the hikes around San Cassiano in the Dolomites. Crossing that last hill from Corniglia to see Vernazza below you. There’s just something about reaching the top and taking in the amazing views. It gets the heart pumping and makes the effort to get there absolutely worth it.
We should never take a vacation again that does not include a pool.
I’m sitting poolside as I write, watching Steve bounce around in the water of the farmhouse we rented in Umbria. This, plus the terraced grounds, with row upon row of olive trees and grape vines, has been spectacular for him. Lots of room for him to roam, and explore and discover. When we were at the castle, he made friends at the pool: the owner’s grandson. They captured the biggest wasp I’ve ever seen at the pool and then ran off to play foosball. In the Dolomites, the hotel had an indoor pool, and that was a huge draw for all five of us, capping each afternoon at the pool (and spa) before dinner.
We’re getting comfortable being uncomfortable.
A big part of this trip for all of us is putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations. Figuring stuff out is so satisfying. From renting a car in Reykjavik and navigating the Golden Circle on our own, to ordering from a German menu from which English translations are near impossible, to nervously waiting on a train platform not sure you’re getting on the right train, to driving a few thousand kilometers around Italy amidst a local population that has utter disregard for all traffic rules and signs. Even shopping for dinner at the local grocery has been a challenge. Try buying milk in Italy, or wondering how long eggs will stay if not refrigerated. But we figure it out, and persevere, and its gratifying. It’s not as big a deal as it seems, and that’s something we want the kids to learn from this experience.
Gelato makes everything OK.
There aren’t too many activities that all five of us will be excited about. That’s just being realistic. But dangling the possibility of gelato in front of the kids, or screen time on the tablets, tends to smooth things over. Long walk through Prague. Have a gelato. Tired after touring the Duomo in Siena? Have a gelato. Not thrilled about grocery shopping? Fine, let’s have a gelato, and then go shopping. Yes, this is essentially bribery. But it’s necessary. And truth be told, Mary and I like gelato as much as the kids do. So no harm done, except to our waistlines.
Less is more.
This adventure has been incredible, but it’s also been a bit of a tease. Even though Mary and I tried not to overload the itinerary, it was impossible not to. There are just too many interesting places to visit in Europe. But when you have just 2 or 3 days in each place, you leave wanting more. You leave having deprived yourself of time for discovery. To maximize the time you do have requires advance research and a good plan, and truth be told, we haven’t had that everywhere we’ve gone (true to our House of Good Intentions nature). So we left London wishing we had more time, and Prague, and the Dolomites, and the Cinque Terre. Each was great in its own right, but more time would have allowed the types of serendipitous discoveries like we’re experiencing now on our 2-week Umbrian respite. So next time, we’ve got to fight the urge to overload the itinerary, go slower; and accept it’s OK to “just be” and not have every hour of every day planned out in advance.
Home away from home.
The trip’s not over, but so far our accommodations have exceeded all expectations. Each place we’ve stayed has been like a home away from home. Starting with the Rhodes Hotel in London, where we all crammed into one room, but where the owner of the hotel gave the kids Kit Kat bars at breakfast; or the 4 bedroom tower flat at the Castello Montalto, where the owner invited us into our home to share with us the history of the estate over wine and hors d’orves ; or the two rooms we had at the Hotel Grunwald just outside Munich proper; or the fantastic two-room suite we had at the Hotel Diamant in San Cassiano, where the owner’s son did all of our laundry, free of charge; or the amazing 2-bedroom flat in a historic building in the heart of the Mala Strana in Prague, where again, the housekeeper did all of our laundry (sensing a theme here?). And nothing could beat the farmhouse we’re renting in Umbria, from a woman who, ironically, lives just 30 minutes from us in California, and who had a pre-cooked meal ready for us in the ktichen when we arrived, and who organized an on-site pizza pary that’s been one of many highlights from this trip. We can only hope that our home away from home accommodations in Sorrento, Castellamare di Stabe and Rome measure up to what we’ve had so far!
Let the kids be kids.
Earlier, Steve came down from writing in his journal, something he does several times each day. I asked about his top highlight from yesterday. His response: “getting Sugar Rush on the iPad” He had top scores in that game while on the Disney Cruise, and that’s what he wanted more than anything else. Play has been an important part of this adventure, for the kids especially. From Steve finding inspiration from the Rosetta Stone at the British Museum in London and creating his own languages (“Tominese” being one of them), to Cupcake’s triple Yahtzee that got us shushed in Copenhagen, to punctuating each day with zip lines in Prague, to bouncing on trampolines and other playground equipment at the refugios we discovered on our Dolomites hikes, to playing foosball at the castle in Chianti, to dressing up as medieval lords and ladies at the Palazzo Vecchio in Florence, to playing chess, rough-housing in the pool and throwing boomerangs in Umbria – “play” has been central to both our experience, and the memories we’re making. There’s something to be said for having a plan for each day, but it’s just as important to leave enough space for spontaneous play, too.
It’s OK to be homesick.
This is the most contingous time we’ve spent together, ever. We talk, a lot. You can’t help but draw closer together as a family when you’re traveling like this. We’re more in the present, more cognizant of each other. At the same time, though, its clear we’re all at least a little bit homesick. Steve misses his friends, and playing foursquare (he used Google Translate to figure out how to ask me, ‘do you want to play foursquare?’) Cupcake is worried about starting middle school and planning her birthday party. Just today we went out to find a few pads of paper, which had to be just the right thickness, so she could make origami cupcakes. She’s been working on them all afternoon.I find myself thinking a little more about what I’ll do with my career when I get back, and I suspect Mary is doing the same. At first, I wasn’t sure how to feel about that; but with an 8+ week trip, I think its only natural. No one wants to go home, per se, we just miss some of the routines we had become accustomed to. Or, as Steve puts it, our “traditions.” So last night, we went out for pizzas and then came back to the farmhouse to huddle around the iPad to watch “Searching for Bobby Fischer” – the Umbrian version of our Friday Night Pizza and Movie Night tradition back home.
Apologies for this long post, and thank you for those who made it to the end! We write on Trippin’ with Kids not expecting many readers; the purpose is more selfish – to capture the experiences and memories so that we can relive them in the future, as the kids get older and have children of their own. But we do very much appreciate all of you who are following along and experience this adventure with us!
Master organizer of this grand adventure, and father to this raucous bunch of kids. Armed with camera and a tablet, I aim to capture the memorable moments that will allow this trip to live on forever.
2 thoughts on “Halfway Through: Reflections on our Family Adventure”
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Great post! I’m so glad you didn’t lose our Potter!!!
Great reflections!